Golden

"Take me back in the days when loving was pure; 

love ain't going away, love is always secure;

life's not always perfect but love's always forever;

let's let true love connect, let's try lasting together..."

-Golden, Chrisette Michele

Gosh, I love this song so much! I guess i've been listening to the album a lil' too much and it's been randomly singing in my head. The lyrics to this song and "love is you," get to me ALWAYS! I would absolutely love to sing one of these songs with a live band sometime in the near future!!! *music-gasms*

Ok, just wanted to share some good music y'all!

TGIF :-)

writing...

Writing is therapeutic, though I'm not quite sure what part of me needs healing. I started to type... not really sure what I wanted to say, but quite sure that it needed saying. I feel strong and yet I feel broken. At times I'm not sure whether to rejoice or let the tears pour - so I stand strong, and emotion evades me.... not quite sure if it's pride or maturity that has taken precedence.

I don't like the cliche woman that cries at will for any and everything and lives life off her "feelings." I'm quite bothered by that woman. Lol! I believe in feeling but I also believe in logic... and I try to find a way to make the two mesh as often as possible. Of course I'm not made of stone so I occasionally let my heart lead my decisions - sometimes it's quite freeing, and other times it's just damn annoying.

The one thing that is somehow always comforting is Writing... so I write about nothing and everything. Often times it reads as gibberish but I feel so much better when I'm done.

So... I'm done.

Perhaps I'll go write some more of my dissertation - now THAT kinda writing is never really fun 'cause it's necessary and overly structured. But a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do :p

...

And you will find no fear here, in unkind words or the hardness of others.

And you will find no sadness here, in the meanness of the world, in the anger that comes from those who feel small.

And you will find no hurt here, in a million insults or a single, softly spoken lie.

Because only a hard heart shatters.

Only a hard heart, breaks.

{image and words via I wrote this for you}

2010!!!

AWESOMENESSSSSSSSSS!!!!

Okay, so i'm pretty excited to be starting a new year (yes, i realize this post is already quite a few days into the year)!

There's so much hope I have poured into this new year and I pray it turns out a million times better than 2009. There'll be lots of new beginnings, and I pray God sees me (and mine) through each of 'em.

I'm a tad home-sick (as usual) but i'm sure it'll wear off soonest. Lots to be done and little time to get 'er done... sooooo LET'S GO PEOPLE!!!!

I pray this year turns out beautifully for you, and that you leave the year with greater strength, joy and hope than you imagined!

*happy dance*

xoxo

Open-mindedness!

Being open-minded is an interesting concept. Just how "open" should one be? I'm very willing to listen to people's opinions, and every once in a while I go ahead and try something new. BUT the world is loving the concept of open-mindedness! Now it seems we're trying to make EVERYthing allowable. Just because it's "popular" then it should be "okay." Afterall, nobody wants to go against the grain anymore. They call it freedom of speech, freedom to act... bla bla! BUT it's this same so-called "freedom" that is crippling so many people. We all need rules, some kind of rules in our lives. Every nation/establishment/institution needs some kind of rules and standards to live by.  This is why presidents are chosen by the people for different countries (well, at least the ones that actually pay attention to democracy), leaders are chosen in organizations, vows are made in marriages ... etc! We all need some kind of standard to live by. Although compromise is necessary in some situations, it's never right to compromise one's integrity! I thank God for freedom... but I try not to abuse what it truly means!

I'm not quite sure where exactly I'm going with this blog post but I guess i'm just a little peeved about how certain things are deemed "acceptable," that are fundamentally destroying the human race, and blurring the lines between humans and other animals! Respect is very key in all human relationships! And we are called to love one another - the greatest commandment. We can never change situations we are willing to tolerate!... and yes, it starts with the little things and our day-to-day relationships!

Random musings.. just through to share :-)

Much love,
xoxo

I believe I can fly :-)

The Other Woman...

"Affairs, adultery exist in a realm of lies. He lies to her, he lies to you, he lies to himself, you lie to the world, you lie to yourself and then you cry to yourself because there will be nobody left to lie to." - E. Onu


Read full article here. Very well written piece!!

Intuition by Lami

“To find love, you’ve got to define love... 
‘Cos see the definition specifies the destination of a search that lies ahead for each heart;


The seed of love is birthed when the soul identifies  the need for it. I have been in places so far from what I craved. Behaved in ways I scared true love away.


Pretended I had figured it out when sincerely I was on the wrong route, heading for loneliness and second best alternatives, cheap substitutes for the real thing. 


Love is hidden not so it can’t be found but so that it can be embellished. Love does not want to be taken for the mistake or romantic notion that it can be created or depicted by a  rose.


Love is what it says it is... Not some teenage disease that communicates with a kiss. 


Love is undeniably a daughter of truth and a brother to hope. 


Love deserves to be known but will only be introduced by, and to none other, than the one who is willing to learn exactly what love is. 


Love is committing suicide to your past and letting the present breathe in you.


Love is smiling yet in the face of No, believing when the rhyme of reason and the melody of reality inscend to lose faith in the very moment when science translates to Joy. 


Love is singing the same song to a changing heartbeat, humming a familiar tune to an evolving reason to sing....because the soul knows that entertaining the possibility of a possibility opens up the painful wound of doubt, which abuses the unadulterated accuracy of love. 


Love is talking, not telling.  
Love is listening, not hearing.  
Love is learning, not knowing. 
Love is being, not feeling. 
Love is all that it claims to be. 
Love is who I live to be. 
Love is everything to me. ” 


- Lami (Spoken word - Love, Album - Intuition)


Album Review: Ladybrille


Get Album or listen to Snippets: NotjustOk

...

I'm so glad it's December... 'cause I get to go home and be with my family!!!... but then there's something bitter-sweet about the year ending. It's amazing how when you're closer to the end of something it feels like it flew by so quickly... and yet you remember the days you couldn't wait for... how some days seemed to drag on longer than others, how it seemed like some trials would never come to an end... and the joy that came with the realization that you'd "conquered" another day/trial. 2009 is definitely going down in my books as "............" I can't decide/define what as! I guess I still have about 3 weeks before the year's over so I'm gonna make the most of it - So help me God!!!!

I'm happy!!! - did i say that yet?! :)

Have a blessed Sunday!!

I did it!!!

Happy Thanksgiving Y'all!!!!!!!

I ran the half-marathon this morning!!!! I'm so proud of myself for sticking with it! I was a little worried 'cause I bought my new running shoes while waiting for the sprained ankle (see previous post) to heal... and just when I thought I was ready to run again - I got a horrible cold! It seemed like everything was conspiring against my race! And then I had to travel to 2 diff states shortly after recovery so I got to run maybe 3 times altogether before the day of the marathon! BUT I made it :D My average time per mile was worse than it had been before my "injury" but I still made it in good time... lots of folk behind me when I got to the finish line... hehe!

God is good! I'm thankful for so many many things, I can't even begin to count my blessings. It's been a revealing year for me and God has brought me through every little trial!! He keeps teaching me things about myself, constantly intercedes on my behalf, guides me through the toughest of decisions... even when I try to be stubborn! Baba mi tobi loba!

I ache all over from the running...but it's time for some turrrkeeeey!!!!

until next time... xoxo ;)

image via

Morning Rant: DAMN the shoes!!!

So, last week I went running and got a major ankle sprain after a few miles. I assumed I over-exerted my foot and perhaps it might have something to do with the random flats I wear on the daily. Wrong!

The pain in my foot was completely gone as of a couple of days ago, so I went running. After running just over a mile, my foot started to hurt again. Once again, I just assumed the poor foot just wasn't ready for the run... so I limped back to my car and headed on home. That was a couple of days ago.

So... since then, I've been up and about, living pain-free. I've primarily been wearing my boots (it's cold y'all) and my foot seemed perfectly fine. Did quite a bit of walking yesterday, came home and felt no pain. So once again, like i usually do, I set my alarm for 6:20am (even though I didn't finally close my eyes 'til 2am last night), got up, got dressed, got in my car, and drove to school for my victory run! Now, I run in an indoor track because it's quite cold out (especially in the morning) and parking is about 0.4miles from the building... so I get a "warm-up" walk before and after my run. Anyyywhoo, I'm all dressed and pepped up to go running. I've got my pep music (Freestyle - Don't stop the rock) ready to go, and I'm walking to the building.

But wait.. is that pain i feel in my right foot? Naaah, it's fine. I'll keep walking. No, I think that's actual pain. Wait, am I limping to the building now? Shit - I'm freaking limping! Great... how the heck am I s'posed to run an hour if I can't freaking walk? But.. but.. everything was fine yesterday and I walked quite a bit. But, Oh, I was wearing my boots - not these damn shoes! Oh shit, it's gotta be the shoes! Farrrrrrrrrrrk, do i need new running shoes? I guess I do! Crapdammit! Now I have to limp back to my car? Urrrgh - I could have slept a few more hours! Urrrgh, the half-marathon is in less than 2 weeks now and I'll never be ready! Crap crap crap!

Rant done! *researching running shoes*

wish me luck...

image via

Dream on dreamer...

"Hold fast to your dreams,

for without them life is a broken wingled bird 

that cannot fly"

-Langston Hughes

I forget my dreams ever so often... and everything starts to seem pointless. I find myself measuring my achievements through the eyes of others, forgetting that we don't have the same dreams or goals. I lose focus and I covet. But somewhere deep inside, I know I don't want what they want/have. But in those few seconds/minutes, common sense eludes me and I find myself longing for a dream that was never mine. Thankfully, this isn't a permanent state of mind!

It may seem simple to you but I only dream of being happy. Truly happy! Surrounded by the ones I love - growing in love daily. Life gets so complex with time, that we find ourselves locked in a state of misery we created with our own words & actions... forgetting the simpler things that once brought us joy. I never want to get to that point. I'll stop, I'll listen, I'll pray and I'll look forward to each day knowing it's a day God has made (so I will rejoice and be glad in it!)

We dream for a reason. God puts dreams in our hearts and the ability to achieve them. Every person is different and special.  The moment we forget that, we steal the dreams of others and don't realize 'til we fail in some way, that the dreams were never ours to take.

current state of mind :\

Happy Monday!

I randomly stumbled upon some of Dr. Phil's life laws online. While i might not agree with them all, here are some that I feel are true:

• You cannot change what you do not acknowledge
• We teach people how to treat us
• There is power in forgiveness

So true!

shoulda coulda woulda.... ctrl + alt + delete

A lot of times in life, we say "if i knew then, what i know now... " ... or "i wish i could take it all back" and many things to that effect. Basically, many of us, at different times in our lives, have wished for some BIG ERASER that would take care of our mistakes in life. I guess my question(s) would be this : Would you want to erase an entire memory.... and all that came with it? Delete the good along with the bad? Delete all the lessons learned? I, for one, know that I wouldn't! I know it's okay to make mistakes in life as long as you learn from them and work towards avoiding such mistakes in the future. It's all part of life's journey - the lessons learned! If everything worked out perfectly and we always had an "edit button," life would be so boring and unreal! The hardest but most important thing is forgiving others and forgiving ourselves... and then we can move on with life! That's just my 2 cents. What say ye?!

Music... Again

I love this song... I remember listening to it and thinking i could actually identify with the words. Mind you, i wasn't even a teenager when the song came out so I had nooo clue what she was feeling.

Listening to it now though... I guess i could somewhat identify :)

...

Quotes...

"When people show you who they are, believe them!"


"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, 
people will forget what you did, 
but people will never forget 
how you made them feel."

- Maya Angelou

and the beat goes on... and on!

It's November!!!! wow, I know i keep saying this but it seems like the year is flying right by. I'm not quite sure how I feel about that. A part of me is super-stoked and part of me wishes the year would slow down a little bit so I could get a lot more done. *SIGH*

It's 22 days to half-marathon!!!! I still have quite a long way to go with my training but I'm pushing myself twice as much now. It's kinda crazy having to wake up at 6:15/6:30am in the fall (it's freeeezing in SC - typically about 30F when i'm leaving home in the morning) to go running! Heck, it's hard enough getting out of the house to go running when the weather's perfect. But i'm not complaining - I gave myself this assignment and it's quite satisfying to know that I've gotten a 5mile run out of the way, showered and had breakfast by 9am! I feel kinda.. umm... brand new? lol.

I actually added some yoga now to my workout routine....so I'm gonna be doing yoga every other day. So far I've had 2 yoga "classes" and they went okay - could've been better. It's kinda hard getting back into it after months of cheating on it with running :) But I like the fact that it gives me a good stretch, amongst other things, especially after a long run. Am I doing too much? I guess i'll find out within the next week. I got a sprained ankle after about 4 miles of running this morning and i pushed myself to the 5th mile thinking it'd go away... and now i'm limping! lol....it hurts like &*(^%($ but i'll be fine. I'll ice it when I get back home later in the day!!!

**cheese alert** Oh, I told boyfriend i'll blog this so here goes - I love that he calls me randomly, out of the blue, just to say "I love you, I appreciate you". He actually says it everyday but every once in a while he specifically stops to tell me that he appreciates me. He said "It's easy to take things for granted when it's been a while... but everyday I realize i'm living my dream with you." It's been almost 6yrs now that we've been dating *gasp* ... (1yr if you actually just count face-time - lol!) ... but thankfully, it feels nothing like it! I still look forward to our tomorrows :) **cheese done**

What else? what else?! ... are there times in your life when you specifically feel like God is interceding on your behalf? I mean, i know constantly know this, somewhere at the back of my mind, but there are specific days when it's sooo apparent - it's staring me right in the face! I see nothing but God's love... TODAY is one of those days! I feel extra blessed and no, I didn't win the lottery or get a new car or anything like that. I just woke up! Thank you Lord!

Ok, i'll get back to work now. A lot to accomplish and the year is running away.... *stooop!*

xoxo
;)

just 'cause...

• just 'cause it's common DON'T make it right!
• just 'cause it's new DON'T make it cool!
• just 'cause you say it DON'T make it gospel!
• just 'cause it's faded DON'T make it retro!
• just 'cause it's dark DON'T make you Goth!
• just 'cause it's wacky DON'T make you amusing!
• just 'cause it's got big words DON'T make it a smart read!
• just 'cause your skin's got color DON'T make you exotic!
• just 'cause you say/do nothing DON'T make you innocent!
• just 'cause you ain't hurt a fly (yet) DON'T mean you won't!
• just 'cause you read big books without pictures DON'T make you a philosopher!
• just 'cause you go to church DON'T make you a Christian!
• just 'cause you're well versed on all religions DON'T make you tolerant!
• just 'cause I choose to say "DON'T" instead of "DOESN'T" DON'T make me a dullard :p

*~2:30am musings! bite me!